Sharing Hobbies as a Parent

With the exception of a few puzzle games on my phone, I have not played a video game in years. Probably around 8 years. This doesn’t mean anything to a lot of people. Some might even wonder why a grown woman would have been playing even 8 years ago. But I did. I enjoyed it. It was my indulgence. My favorites were Zelda. I like them because I enjoyed the layers of stories, the quests, the puzzle-solving, the complicated exploring adventures of getting from point A to B to C. When I was in college I kept the smallest DS I could find in my purse and would sneak off and play between classes. When I was first married, Matt tried to play the Diablo on PlayStation with me, but he was too frustrated with how slow and deliberate I take storylines, so he’d go onto his computer while I stayed with my console.

I bought myself a Switch just so I could play the newest game in the Zelda world. But then babies happened, and without really thinking about it I just stopped playing.

Before kids, I‘d have been really sad to think about a hobby I love so much almost completely disappearing, but it happened in a way that made it hard to even notice it was happening. It makes sense that this would be the hobby that goes away. It takes a lot of time, and all at once. Zelda is not a game where I can play for just a few minutes here and there. If I tried that I would forget what I was supposed to be doing. Plus it is so easy to lose track of time while playing. Hours could go in what feels like minutes.

But as it turns out Zelda didn’t go away altogether. Now Giacomo is old enough to play. He started at about 6 years old, sitting in my craft room playing my old Wii while I painted and designed orders for people. He likes to play TP and will either play one of my old games (so he can be a wolf right away) or he just wanders around Ordon Village. He is starting to really progress, especially as his reading gets better (the reading and story telling in the game is a whole other topic I could go on about). He is charging an old DS he found with OoT already inside, and he is the one who is playing BoW on my (now his) Switch.  Santa brought him Skyward Sword for Christmas and he loves it. Sometimes he asks me to play with him or to watch him.

It’s pretty cool to watch someone discover something you love. Sometimes I worry that I won’t have much in common with my kids. We might not like the same music, or hobbies, or interests. So when Giacomo decided he really loves to play Zelda, I was so, so excited. I don’t think Daisy will be so into video games, but she does seem to really like tiny trinkets and creating “potions,” like I always did. And Daphne loves to dance like used to do. All my kids like dark-yet-whimsical stories and movies, Like Tim Burton films, Willow,  and Coroline. So I try not to worry that I won’t have anything in common with these kids and instead remember that, yes, these kids are mine and yes, part of my likes will rub off on them.  If all else, their love for each other will be the biggest thing we have in common and keep us together in our hearts, always.

But still I am excited that there are some things we can actively do together. Maybe one day we’ll strategize a plan in a video game and play together, create a new recipe, or make up some new dances. Maybe we’ll all write a story together. That would be amazing.

Or maybe they will teach me about something. Maybe I will find my next hobby through helping the kids with theirs. So far that has not happened. I tried to learn Pokémon because Giacomo wanted someone to play with at home, but fun fact about me, I cannot retain card games no matter how hard or how often I try to learn them. So Pokémon is not my next game. But I still am interested in learning about the little creatures because they interest Jack. Maybe it will grow on me? Or maybe I shouldn’t force myself to be “all in” just because the kids are, just like I won’t force them to write for fun, make resin art, or refurbish furniture.

But when something organically happens and they introduce me to something I already love, as if they’re the ones who discovered that Zelda is a Sheikah, Beetlejuice is an awesome movie, or Motown is fun to dance to, my heart is overwhelmingly full.

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